My thought for the day.

Empty Nest: The Final Run

The other night sitting in our living room, we sat in comfortable silence watching a movie. Rick feeling particularly comfy sitting in his boxers and tee shirt and me just happy I could hear the tv.   

Hubby remarked, without even thinking, "We're finally Empty Nesters."

And it's true. Since making the big move to include Devon and the babies into our lives we've had brief dry runs, exploratory excursions into this new frontier. But this summer will be different, somehow, and I can only explain it by noting that the real thing is much better than the dry runs.

Harmony (Channon) is officially out on her own now, a whole bunch of states away. Martina is currently still forging life on her own and now Devon…..leaving us to live in a home filled with tons of wonderful people that not only love her but will take care of her.

This summer's time alone together has taken on a slightly different flavor. In times past, we would celebrate the rare time "off" from parenting responsibilities by acting like co-eds on Spring Break, going out every night, constantly on the move, taking full advantage of the opportunity to play hard. This time, we've fallen into a comfortable routine, and have almost unconsciously turned our full attentions to enjoying each other's company for its own sake, without the need for constant extracurricular distraction.

We've had long conversations that fluctuate between the serious and the absurd. We've sought out new adventures to share instead of running around for the running's sake. We've hung out together in relaxed silence, reading, or gardening, or watching the news. We've cuddled, and snuggled, and giggled. We've both stumbled into ways of being thoughtful of each other; small ways, that have required little thought, really. We've taken time for ourselves and our separate interests, wiser for knowing this makes us more interesting together. We've been easy, and carefree, and content.

The two of us have never been a married couple without children. Early in our marriage,  I used to be worried we'd grow apart, and become virtual strangers. I used to think that it might be possible for us to wake up some day in the distant future, look at each other, and say, "Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?"

Silly me.

Because I know exactly who he is, after all. A wonderfully goofy, amazing man who loves me; one half of a brilliant whole. I get the distinct feeling our empty nest is going to be mighty full.

Today I feel like a piece of sausage

stuffed into a very tight wrapper....

I can't seem to get back into the swing of regular dieting, which has been a source of sadness and frustration for me when I've actually given a moment's thought to it over the past year or so. But you know? I'm going to let that go and let it be what it is.  Part of me believes that the fretting over it is a direct contributor to the stifling of it, in a very real way. One day, I will get back on the wagon.  So even though it's a rainy and rather dreary day out there, there is spring in my step and do believe that the day to slap the back of the those horses should be today - what do ya think Bessie?

So off to more positive thinking git e up!

Count down......6 months to go.

So I find myself once again disgusted with myself.   How is it that I have spent years, time, money, sweat, tears and pain to only be in the same place as I started.  I read and re-read all my posts and I sound the same....blah, blah, blah.  I'm fat, I'm tired of being fat..... WFT is wrong with me.  So here is it in black and white, IF I don't get this weight off me several things will happen.  I will live a shorter life, I will run out of clothes to wear, I will be totally embarrassed when we go to Washington for Thanksgiving this year.

So With renewed vigor and inspired motivation, in spite of a million and preceding failures, I am once again making a new run at good health.

The all over kind.  the inside-out kind.  the everything in moderation kind.  The "holy hell, I'm getting older and suddenly realize that maybe - MAYBE - I might want to live forever" kind.

Yeah.

That.

Kind.

I've made these proclamations before, but words are easy.  We all know that.  I could write a million words a day relaying all I know to be true about the road to fitness, the value of nutrition to a well-tended mind, the horrid effects of fast food, fake food, food for food's sake.

It's the meaning that is difficult.  the follow through.  The action that give the words their real power and oomph.

So, here I am, again, with words, again, promising to take care of myself, again.  But I am also here with a slightly different approach.  Seven year after losing my sister and claiming I was going to take back my life, the last grand gesture made in expressing any sort of....love, really....for myself and for sustaining this life I do so very much love to live, it's time for another grand gesture.

This time, the grand gesture will be the last.

One small commitment towards a better health every day.
One reasonable, do-able, achievable action.
One step, every day, on a journey of well-being. 

Am I incredible corny?

Yes. Yes I am.

Do I give a flying flip?

Nope, nope I don't

The point is that it be something.

One thing.

Every day.

I got this.


And when you feel you're at the end of the road, 
just lift your head up, spread your wing 
and fly away.