Reading my world....I'm not alone

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So I guess I have people out there in the universe who read my posts.  It feels strange to know that people are reading my words.  Who are you?

I wonder what are they getting from it? Does it bring them to a better understanding of themselves.  I know for myself writing and putting it out into the world brings me a small amount of feeling like I'm being heard.

and sometime I lie awake at night and just cry.

I live in a house full of people and I mean FULL.  There are 6 adults, 2 kids, 6 dogs ranging in size from a lab to a chi wow wow and let's not forget the 2 cats.  I am never alone, the house is never quite, and yet inside my brain I am very alone and it is very quite.  

This poem is my life:

“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I did this so many times I just can't count.  Forever was such a long time each time I did this.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.
Now I'm feeling stupid and I know the world thinks I'm stupid, even my kids think I'm stupid.   I'm ashamed I just want to hide I am stupid.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
I start to see that I have a problem and start looking for answers and help.  I acknowledge that something is wrong that I must stop this cycle. 

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
After going to therapy and learning to love myself first I learned this hole is just that a hole.  It doesn't control me, it doesn't own me.  I'ts just a frickin hole in the ground filled with crap.

I walk down another street.” holding my kids hands and my head up high.

Now I'm not alone.