I miss my life.....

Somewhere out there I left my life behind.  I just picked up and abandoned it.  I turned left instead of right and it kept on going.  It happened when my youngest "Devon" graduated from school and I was left alone for the first time ever.  Before that I had a schedule of working my brains out to give each on of them the best life I could come up with.  It wasn't much of a goal for myself but it gave me a purpose.  After they all left me, as it should be ~ I stopped, skipped a beat and just fell on my face.

Before the abandonment of my kids I knew each day what my purpose was, after, I couldn't figure it out. To this day I still wonder what my purpose is.  I hate each morning as I get up and the first thing I see is me in the mirror, fat, old and of all horrors just like my mother!!!

How do I change this? My rut is deep and long, I can't pull the rope any harder to find the ledge.  I hate each and every thing about me right now.  My job, my finances, my body, my energy, my sadness.....god I could go on and on.

But your not here to listen to me wine and moan.....your here to see that I found the light......found the ledge......your here to find what inspiring thing I can say or do.
Jeezzz, I'm fucked.
I failed you.
I failed myself.


“By changing nothing, nothing changes.”– Tony Robbins